Twilight Princess had potential, but decided being EPIC! was far more important than actually being good. It’s slow, incredibly boring at times, and is filled with just as much frustrating filler as it is actually fun gameplay. Also, FUCK Zant. (2/5)

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Ocarina of Time isn’t the best game ever, but it’s still fantastic. Even being two console generations old hasn’t kept this from being fantastic in almost every way. There are some control issues, and one or two story issues, but aside from that, it’s amazing. (3/5)

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Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks is Phantom Hourglass, but more on rails than Dead Space Extraction. Stylus controls that are more awkward than a boner at a wedding, and the game’s insistence that you blow into the mic at every opportunity manage to make it possibly the worst Zelda yet. (0/5)

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