Darksiders Review by MiraiDarksiders wants to be Zelda… also God of War… and probably Portal as well. It’s original as a horror movie about a psychopath murdering naked teens, but, if you can get past the first hour or so, you’ll find it does it all so well you can’t help but love it. (3/5)
Contact Review by NonConContact starts and ends brilliant, but there’s too much boring and even more grinding in the middle that it can be a bit of a chore at times. Some amazing moments spread throughout make it all worth it in the end, though, even if just barely. (2/5)
Bayonetta Review by NonConBayonetta is a crazy fun action game buried beneath a mountain of stupid. While the gameplay, and sheer amount of content makes up for its flaws, it’s still a disappointment coming from the man who made the genre. (3/5)
Bayonetta Review by MiraiHideki Kamiya’s first game since the original Devil May Cry could have been great if it didn’t dial up the face-coveringly awful story and cutscenes beyond eleven. The action’s alright, if cluttered and confusing but just doesn’t hold a candle to Devil May Cry 3′s greatness, and in the end the stupidity of it all nearly kills it. (2/5)
Why NonCon Thinks 2010 Will SuckNonCon knows 2010 is going to suck, and he blames Squeenix.
Why Mirai Thinks 2010 Will SuckMirai takes a look into a future full of disappointment and mediocrity.
Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks Review by MiraiLegend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks is Phantom Hourglass, but more on rails than Dead Space Extraction. Stylus controls that are more awkward than a boner at a wedding, and the game’s insistence that you blow into the mic at every opportunity manage to make it possibly the worst Zelda yet. (0/5)
Read the rest of Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks Review by Mirai
Dragon Quest V Review by NonConDragon Quest V nears perfection in its simplicity, and while it loses a little of what was so great about Dragon Quest IV’s combat, it makes up for it by inventing Pokemon, and having more brilliant story moments. (5/5)
Left 4 Dead 2 Review by AzisienOkay, I admit it, the naming convention Valve has trapped themselves in is stupid. Assuming they continue down sequel road now, what will they do? Left 4 Dead 4? That just sounds stupid. Would they leave it at Left 4 Dead? But that was the first game’s name! Ultimately this is good news for folks [...]
X-Men Origins Review by MiraiX-Men Origins is a game that should suck. It’s a shameless God of War clone. It’s a movie tie-in. It’s about Hugh Jackman. In spite of this, it manages to be pretty damn great, and certainly worth checking out, what with how cheap you can find it. (3/5)
Magna Carta 2 Review by NonConMagna Carta 2 is a fairly average jRPG that I would have been forgiving of on account of it not having SMT in the title. However, a bucket of terrible design choices and a teaspoon of glitches helped the review go down and now it gets zero out of five.
Assassin’s Creed 2 Review by Mirai(Video Review) Assassins Creed II improves on many of the unfinished ideas of Assassins Creed I, but becomes overstuffed with insane amounts of money, pointless side missions, and erratic writing. 3/5
NonCon’s Special Christmas ReviewDo Not Open Before Christmas… I’m not going to tell you what this is a review of, because it’s your Christmas present and Christmas presents should be a surprise. I will, however, tell you that the game is totally rad.
