Darksiders Review by Mirai

Posted in Mirai, Playstation 3, Reviews, Xbox 360 on January 29th, 2010

Darksiders wants to be Zelda… also God of War… and probably Portal as well. It’s original as a horror movie about a psychopath murdering naked teens, but, if you can get past the first hour or so, you’ll find it does it all so well you can’t help but love it. (3/5)

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Contact Review by NonCon

Posted in Nintendo DS, NonCon, Reviews on January 29th, 2010

Contact starts and ends brilliant, but there’s too much boring and even more grinding in the middle that it can be a bit of a chore at times. Some amazing moments spread throughout make it all worth it in the end, though, even if just barely. (2/5)

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Bayonetta Review by NonCon

Posted in NonCon, Playstation 3, Reviews, Xbox 360 on January 22nd, 2010

Bayonetta is a crazy fun action game buried beneath a mountain of stupid. While the gameplay, and sheer amount of content makes up for its flaws, it’s still a disappointment coming from the man who made the genre. (3/5)

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Bayonetta Review by Mirai

Posted in Mirai, Playstation 3, Reviews, Xbox 360 on January 22nd, 2010

Hideki Kamiya’s first game since the original Devil May Cry could have been great if it didn’t dial up the face-coveringly awful story and cutscenes beyond eleven. The action’s alright, if cluttered and confusing but just doesn’t hold a candle to Devil May Cry 3′s greatness, and in the end the stupidity of it all nearly kills it. (2/5)

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Why NonCon Thinks 2010 Will Suck

Posted in NonCon, Wendsday Updates on January 16th, 2010

NonCon knows 2010 is going to suck, and he blames Squeenix.

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Why Mirai Thinks 2010 Will Suck

Posted in Mirai, Wendsday Updates on January 16th, 2010

Mirai takes a look into a future full of disappointment and mediocrity.

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Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks Review by Mirai

Posted in Mirai, Nintendo DS, Reviews on January 15th, 2010

Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks is Phantom Hourglass, but more on rails than Dead Space Extraction. Stylus controls that are more awkward than a boner at a wedding, and the game’s insistence that you blow into the mic at every opportunity manage to make it possibly the worst Zelda yet. (0/5)

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Dragon Quest V Review by NonCon

Posted in Nintendo DS, NonCon, Reviews on January 15th, 2010

Dragon Quest V nears perfection in its simplicity, and while it loses a little of what was so great about Dragon Quest IV’s combat, it makes up for it by inventing Pokemon, and having more brilliant story moments. (5/5)

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Left 4 Dead 2 Review by Azisien

Posted in Azisien, PC, Playstation 3, Reviews, Xbox 360 on January 15th, 2010

Okay, I admit it, the naming convention Valve has trapped themselves in is stupid. Assuming they continue down sequel road now, what will they do? Left 4 Dead 4? That just sounds stupid. Would they leave it at Left 4 Dead? But that was the first game’s name! Ultimately this is good news for folks [...]

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X-Men Origins Review by Mirai

Posted in Mirai, Playstation 3, Reviews, Xbox 360 on January 8th, 2010

X-Men Origins is a game that should suck. It’s a shameless God of War clone. It’s a movie tie-in. It’s about Hugh Jackman. In spite of this, it manages to be pretty damn great, and certainly worth checking out, what with how cheap you can find it. (3/5)

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Magna Carta 2 Review by NonCon

Posted in NonCon, Playstation 3, Reviews, Xbox 360 on January 8th, 2010

Magna Carta 2 is a fairly average jRPG that I would have been forgiving of on account of it not having SMT in the title. However, a bucket of terrible design choices and a teaspoon of glitches helped the review go down and now it gets zero out of five.

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Assassin’s Creed 2 Review by Mirai

Posted in Mirai, Playstation 3, Reviews, Xbox 360 on January 1st, 2010

(Video Review) Assassins Creed II improves on many of the unfinished ideas of Assassins Creed I, but becomes overstuffed with insane amounts of money, pointless side missions, and erratic writing. 3/5

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NonCon’s Special Christmas Review

Posted in NonCon, PC, Reviews on January 1st, 2010

Do Not Open Before Christmas… I’m not going to tell you what this is a review of, because it’s your Christmas present and Christmas presents should be a surprise. I will, however, tell you that the game is totally rad.

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