Army of Two: 40th Day Review by BatgirlThough the game is fun, the shoddy AI and a reliance on having a co-op partner who actually looks before leaping hold this game back from being truly worthwhile. (2/5)
Mass Effect Review by AzisienI decide to remove Mass Effect once more from my shelf to prepare for the arrival of Mass Effect 2. Despite its technical flaws, it kicked ass in 2007 and it still kicks ass today. (5/5)
SBCG4AP vs Trace Memory Review by NonConSBCG4AP is a funny game with lacking gameplay that doesn’t take advantage of the possibilities it has. (2/5) Trace Memory is a well written narrative with developed characters, boring, tedious gameplay, but it tries to be fresh. (2/5)
Demon’s Souls Review by MiraiDemon’s Souls is a game that tries to ape difficulty but ratchets it up far higher than it should, instead having the apparent difficulty of a Mega Man game if it was designed by Hitler. No, I couldn’t get past the first level, but quite frankly I don’t care. (0/5)
Darksiders Review by MiraiDarksiders wants to be Zelda… also God of War… and probably Portal as well. It’s original as a horror movie about a psychopath murdering naked teens, but, if you can get past the first hour or so, you’ll find it does it all so well you can’t help but love it. (3/5)
Contact Review by NonConContact starts and ends brilliant, but there’s too much boring and even more grinding in the middle that it can be a bit of a chore at times. Some amazing moments spread throughout make it all worth it in the end, though, even if just barely. (2/5)
Bayonetta Review by NonConBayonetta is a crazy fun action game buried beneath a mountain of stupid. While the gameplay, and sheer amount of content makes up for its flaws, it’s still a disappointment coming from the man who made the genre. (3/5)
Bayonetta Review by MiraiHideki Kamiya’s first game since the original Devil May Cry could have been great if it didn’t dial up the face-coveringly awful story and cutscenes beyond eleven. The action’s alright, if cluttered and confusing but just doesn’t hold a candle to Devil May Cry 3’s greatness, and in the end the stupidity of it all nearly kills it. (2/5)
Why NonCon Thinks 2010 Will SuckNonCon knows 2010 is going to suck, and he blames Squeenix.
Why Mirai Thinks 2010 Will SuckMirai takes a look into a future full of disappointment and mediocrity.
Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks Review by MiraiLegend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks is Phantom Hourglass, but more on rails than Dead Space Extraction. Stylus controls that are more awkward than a boner at a wedding, and the game’s insistence that you blow into the mic at every opportunity manage to make it possibly the worst Zelda yet. (0/5)
Read the rest of Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks Review by Mirai
Dragon Quest V Review by NonConDragon Quest V nears perfection in its simplicity, and while it loses a little of what was so great about Dragon Quest IV’s combat, it makes up for it by inventing Pokemon, and having more brilliant story moments. (5/5)
Left 4 Dead 2 Review by AzisienOkay, I admit it, the naming convention Valve has trapped themselves in is stupid. Assuming they continue down sequel road now, what will they do? Left 4 Dead 4? That just sounds stupid. Would they leave it at Left 4 Dead? But that was the first game’s name! Ultimately [...]
X-Men Origins Review by MiraiX-Men Origins is a game that should suck. It’s a shameless God of War clone. It’s a movie tie-in. It’s about Hugh Jackman. In spite of this, it manages to be pretty damn great, and certainly worth checking out, what with how cheap you can find it. (3/5)
Magna Carta 2 Review by NonConMagna Carta 2 is a fairly average jRPG that I would have been forgiving of on account of it not having SMT in the title. However, a bucket of terrible design choices and a teaspoon of glitches helped the review go down and now it gets zero out of five.
Thanks SMPS.NetPolly, over at SocksMakePeopleSexy.Net, has linked us both on her front page and on her links page because she is totally, totally awesome. We’re gonna start a links thing over on the sidebar for now, and when we have more sites to link maybe we’ll do image links like she has going on. Anyways, you [...]
Assassin’s Creed 2 Review by Mirai(Video Review) Assassins Creed II improves on many of the unfinished ideas of Assassins Creed I, but becomes overstuffed with insane amounts of money, pointless side missions, and erratic writing. 3/5
NonCon’s Special Christmas ReviewDo Not Open Before Christmas… I’m not going to tell you what this is a review of, because it’s your Christmas present and Christmas presents should be a surprise. I will, however, tell you that the game is totally rad.
New Super Mario Bros Wii Review by MiraiNew Super Mario Bros Wii tries to be every Mario game, and then gets rid of some of the best things from the best one, all while refusing to update the controls beyond a couple waggletastic gimmicks. (2/5)
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Review by AzisienWhat would happen if the game industry was not just a boring collection of – let’s face it – relatively greasy nerds sitting in offices typing code and working in 3DSMax or ZBrush? Suppose the game industry was more of a grand maelstrom of warring factions. Each game company would own its market [...]
Read the rest of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Review by Azisien
