Alien Versus Predator Review by MiraiAlien Versus Predator (2010) is just, to be short about it, not very fun. The AI is awful and the only redeeming qualities got driven off a cliff very early on in development. (1/5)
No More Heroes: Desperate Struggle Review by NonConNo More Heroes 2 introduces a number of improvements to the gameplay and presentation of the series, but also introduces a terrible ending, and some of the improvements have flaws of their own. In the end, it fails to live up to its predecessor in a number of ways. (3/5)
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Silent Hill: Shattered Memories Review by NonConSilent Hill: Shattered Memories kills everything that was every good about the Silent Hill franchise and makes the bad things worse. It even replaces it all with Wii waggle. The psychological profiling the game talked up is one of the most shameless lies in recent marketing history. (0/5)
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Mass Effect 2 Review by MiraiMass Effect 2 seriously defied all of my expectations, despite and indeed because it removed many of the RPG elements. Sure it’s a generic third person cover-based shooter, but it’s one of the smartest, intuitive, and has the best story out of them all. (5/5)
Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: The Crystal Bearers Review by NonConFinal Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: The Crystal Bearers is a bad attempt at making a Zelda game, and the reason it’s a bad attempt is because it cuts everything fun out of the experience and replaces it with waggle and annoying characters. (0/5)
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Dark Void Review by MiraiDark Void is a game loaded with a fantastic idea, but quickly becomes a sinking ship under the one crucial fulcrum that makes bad games good; being finished. (1/5)
Final Fantasy X Review by NonConDespite my expection, and secret desire, that I would hate this game, FFX manages to be pretty amazing. It has quite a few flaws, the voice acting and character design are atrocious, and the pacing needs work, but it’s still a great game. Dammit. (3/5)
Uncharted 2 Review by MiraiUncharted is basically the safest, dumbest shooter around, with nice graphics and good writing the only thing that sets it apart from every other shooter out there. (2/5)
Mass Effect 2 Review by AzisienMass Effect 2 hits me like a bag of bricks, but with love and fuzzy feelings instead of mortar, and awesome times instead of bricks. The bag is also made of chocolate and vanilla cake. This game is fucking awesome okay? 5/5.
Army of Two: 40th Day Review by BatgirlThough the game is fun, the shoddy AI and a reliance on having a co-op partner who actually looks before leaping hold this game back from being truly worthwhile. (2/5)
Mass Effect Review by AzisienI decide to remove Mass Effect once more from my shelf to prepare for the arrival of Mass Effect 2. Despite its technical flaws, it kicked ass in 2007 and it still kicks ass today. (5/5)
SBCG4AP vs Trace Memory Review by NonConSBCG4AP is a funny game with lacking gameplay that doesn’t take advantage of the possibilities it has. (2/5) Trace Memory is a well written narrative with developed characters, boring, tedious gameplay, but it tries to be fresh. (2/5)
Demon’s Souls Review by MiraiDemon’s Souls is a game that tries to ape difficulty but ratchets it up far higher than it should, instead having the apparent difficulty of a Mega Man game if it was designed by Hitler. No, I couldn’t get past the first level, but quite frankly I don’t care. (0/5)
Darksiders Review by MiraiDarksiders wants to be Zelda… also God of War… and probably Portal as well. It’s original as a horror movie about a psychopath murdering naked teens, but, if you can get past the first hour or so, you’ll find it does it all so well you can’t help but love it. (3/5)
Contact Review by NonConContact starts and ends brilliant, but there’s too much boring and even more grinding in the middle that it can be a bit of a chore at times. Some amazing moments spread throughout make it all worth it in the end, though, even if just barely. (2/5)
Bayonetta Review by NonConBayonetta is a crazy fun action game buried beneath a mountain of stupid. While the gameplay, and sheer amount of content makes up for its flaws, it’s still a disappointment coming from the man who made the genre. (3/5)
Bayonetta Review by MiraiHideki Kamiya’s first game since the original Devil May Cry could have been great if it didn’t dial up the face-coveringly awful story and cutscenes beyond eleven. The action’s alright, if cluttered and confusing but just doesn’t hold a candle to Devil May Cry 3’s greatness, and in the end the stupidity of it all nearly kills it. (2/5)
Why NonCon Thinks 2010 Will SuckNonCon knows 2010 is going to suck, and he blames Squeenix.
Why Mirai Thinks 2010 Will SuckMirai takes a look into a future full of disappointment and mediocrity.
Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks Review by MiraiLegend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks is Phantom Hourglass, but more on rails than Dead Space Extraction. Stylus controls that are more awkward than a boner at a wedding, and the game’s insistence that you blow into the mic at every opportunity manage to make it possibly the worst Zelda yet. (0/5)
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