Twilight Princess had potential, but decided being EPIC! was far more important than actually being good. It’s slow, incredibly boring at times, and is filled with just as much frustrating filler as it is actually fun gameplay. Also, FUCK Zant. (2/5)

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Kane and Lynch 2 has some good moments and the visuals are very immersive, but the shooting is always just irritating enough to piss you off, but even when it’s good it doesn’t fit with the hyper-realistic graphics. The campaign is barely four hours in so I did finish it, but this is barely a rental if you’re desperate. (2/5)

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In this glorious double review I find myself playing a shitty third-person shooter, Kane and Lynch: Dead Men. Bad camera, bad aiming, bad guns. Just bad (1/5). Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days, on the other hand, makes numerous solid improvements and takes the Kane and Lynch experience from gruelling slog to fully enjoyable (3/5).

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Devil Survivor keeps elements of the combat from the main SMT games, but all within the context of an SRPG. The plot is excellent, though you’ve probably seen elements of it before in other SMT games, and the music is good, too. (4/5)

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Dawn of War II is the game that made me actually like RTSes, and since my experience with RTSes is nothing but bile and hatred that’s a hell of an accomplishment. (5/5)

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Limbo is a triumph in so many ways it’s hard to believe. The game wraps up a bit short with no story to speak of, and many of the best moments never make a return appearance, but this is a XBL game that simply must be played. (5/5)

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Chain of Memories is a good game that would have been a great game if it weren’t a Kingdom Hearts game. Combat is possibly the best the franchise has seen, and Organization XIII is actually cool in this one! (3/5)

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Red Dead Redemption is a good game, don’t get me wrong. But much of it feels very disconnected and scattered, like it’s trying to be an emotional, deep experience while simultaneously trying to waste your time. If you want to timesink you’ve got a good commitment but the rest of you will get bored and wander into the sunset. (3/5)

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Disgaea Infinite is a repetitive, annoying mess of a visual novel, with no nudity to reward you for your time. The hijinks are funny, and the plot and characters are decent enough, but it doesn’t carry the experience when it all relies on those elements. Repetition kills even the best jokes.

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Sin and Punishment 2: Star Successor manages to be pretty much anything you could ask for in an action game, not just in a rail shooter. The shooting is balanced and dynamic, the game flows beautifully from scene to scene, and really some jagged pixels and the befuddling story are all that hold it back from brilliance, but it shines all the same. (4/5)

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Trauma Team brings what was great about the Trauma Center games, and plenty of new gameplay modes. The story and characters are great, it just happens to be much too easy. (4/5)

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Split/Second: Velocity could have been just another racer, but it manages to be pretty stellar with a fun Power Play explosion system, explosive graphics, and explosions explosions explosions explosions. Explosions. (4/5)

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Half-Minute Hero is a decent time waster, so long as you play it in short bursts. Not every game in this collection is great, but enough are that it’s worth checking out. It’s different, at the very least. (3/5)

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(Game) is a First-Person Shooter featuring Black Ops soldier (Rank) (Name), sent to investigate (Location) and discovers he’s the only one who can stop (Villain) from using (Magic Power) to (Motivation). Armed with the (Magic Power) you take control of (Name) and work to undo (Villain)’s evil. (2/5)

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Phantom Brave shapes up to be a good NIS sRPG, with lots of content and a fast-paced battle system, but the asshole AI and downright insane amount of grinding kick it right back into shit territory. (2/5)

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The Doctor Who game is awful in every way imaginable, and the BBC should be ashamed for making it.

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War for Cybertron has every single reason to be awful, yet it manages to be pretty awesome with slick shooting, great graphics, and fantastic boss fights. The campaign suffers from color problems and the health system is kinda backwards, but the multiplay even manages to be good and the whole thing is actually worth picking up. (4/5)

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Nier has a perfect soundtrack, amazing characters, and incredibly moving story moments. The gameplay isn’t half-bad either. Unfortunately, it fails to answer some important plot questions, and the first twelve hours are awful. (3/5)

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Peace Walker had some good ideas, but the pointless management sim and cut-down MGS game stand at opposite ends of the room with little but spit and glue holding them together. The reduced size of the game feels sticky and clunky enough, but then it ramps the difficulty up in a spirited attempt to kick me out. (2/5)

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Matt Speroni is a fantastic artist, and good friend of mine. He drew the excellent ad we’ve used to promote our site, and he also draws How I Killed Your Master, which is a fantastic comic that you all should read. Right now, he could use some work. Speaking from experience, he puts a lot [...]

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